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We suggest that he try a change of venue for each date, including a few spots that generally appeal to tourists.Since many people tend to take the historical and touristy places in their hometowns for granted, a tourist spot might be a novelty for both people and might be conducive to some good conversation.There are other reasons why courtships such as these are destined for failure.Who would want to spend so much time with someone they have little or no history with and are just beginning to get to know?That's because everybody needs "down time" to consciously and unconsciously process what they experienced as the courtship develops.Plus people absolutely must have some personal space and personal time.No matter how long a couple has known each other, we caution them not to overdo the time they spend together, no matter how much they like each other and no matter how difficult or expensive it was for them to arrange the trip.
Although people who date over long distances may take a little longer than conventional daters to reach the point at which they decide to marry, it isn't a good idea to artificially extend the length of the courtship simply because the man and woman haven't had so many face-to-face meetings.
We've seen how difficult it can be for two people to continue a long-distance courtship for an extended period of time.
They may not see each other as often as conventional daters, but nevertheless the feelings between them can become very intense.
Often the other person may be an entirely appropriate match, but what has happened is that the person hasn't had enough time to process what has been going on and feels overwhelmed.
We also recommend that long distance couples vary what they do when they are out together.If the first-time daters have arranged to be in the same city for a long weekend or other three-day period, they can see each other each day, but we recommend that they set a three-to-five-hour time limit on the dates.